Now, I could tell you that I'm not a competitive person, but anyone who knows me would straight away shout 'that's just not true!'.
As I make a habit of always being truthful in my columns, I will confess to being a smidgen competitive, but only with important things like quizzes, air hockey, and computer games like Mario Kart or the motorcycle simulators you get in arcades at the seaside.
But not when it comes to major life event celebrations - for example, my wedding was a simple affair, ditto daughter's Christening. I don't agree with spending large sums of money on one day, admittedly a fairly important day, but just one day in your life nonetheless.
That's why I just can't get my head around the latest life-event competition - funerals.
Why on earth would anyone compete over funerals? I know it's a 'thing' because there's loads of TV adverts now dedicated to ensuring you've got enough cash for a good send off.
For example, the endless over 50s life insurance ads, and the lady who liked stargazer lilies, her friends commenting what a lovely funeral she had, but they couldn't possibly afford one like it unless they take out insurance.
What? Who cares?! I hate to break it to you, but because you'll be dead when it happens, you won't know what your funeral's like. Or I suppose depending on your religious viewpoint you will perhaps be able to view it somehow, but even so, what does it really matter?
Honestly, when did we become a nation of folk who partake in competitive dying and subsequent send-offs?
Without wishing to destroy an entire industry and make coffin craftspeople unemployed, wouldn't it be better for the environment if we were dispatched in strong biodegradable cardboard coffins or similar? Why use the finest oak on something that will either be cremated or buried six feet under?
Surely death is our chance to stop keeping up with the Joneses' - why not keep it simple and just rest in peace?