Thursday, 19 May 2016

Time to say goodbye to Europe...

Right, that's it, I've had enough.  I think we should leave this European club.

We don't understand them, they don't understand us, they all vote with each other, nobody votes for us, yet we invest lots of money into the whole process.

No, I'm not talking about that referendum on 23rd June - I'm still very much undecided and wish somebody could outline just the facts without scaremongering and highlighting what suits their own agendas and political ambitions - I'm talking Eurovision.

We turn up year after year, usually with a great song, and still don't win.  Joe and Jake's 'You're Not Alone' was actually quite a pleasing little ditty and deserved to do better.

And, with no disrespect to this year's victor from Ukraine, her song wasn't really what I was hoping for in a Eurovision winner.

With Eurovision, I want glitz, glamour, glitterballs, fancy frocks, and enough 'cheese' to make the Jacobs cream cracker factory work overtime.

I don't expect to see Australia there either - how did that happen, when did Australia become part of Europe?  The addition of a set by Justin Timberlake was welcome though, but leads me to wonder can we expect a US competitor next year?

Following in the fine 'Riverdance' tradition the interval entertainment stole the show.  The comedy song 'Love Love Peace Peace' was genius and it would probably have won the contest had viewers been allowed to vote for it.

The Swedish presenters Mans Zelmerlow and Petra Mede listed all the elements that you need to win Eurovision - which included having a powerful start; having drums played by topless men; highlighting your ethnic background with a folklore instrument played by a bearded man; adding a violin; having a DJ pretending to scratch; wearing memorable costumes; and singing a song about love or peace, or both, which they then did.

Abba were victorious with a song about war, Waterloo, but generally this isn't recommended.  But as this year's winner won with a song about Stalin I guess anything is now possible.

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