Friday, 28 November 2014

Imagine a world without chocolate...

I have a confession - my name's Helen and I'm addicted to Aldi's dark chocolate Lebkuchen.

If you haven't tried them, give them a go - heart shaped sponge with apricot jam, smothered in dark chocolate, and only 55 calories each.  If you're a fan of Jaffa Cakes you'll like them.  If you're not, well sorry I can't help you, as I'm not sure how anyone can't like Jaffa Cakes.

Fortunately Lebkuchen are not on sale year round, as they're a traditional German Christmas speciality, so I can't be blamed for the chocolate crisis that's apparently heading our way.

A shortage of chocolate?  Surely it can't be true.

I know there's more serious items on the world's agenda at the moment, with Japan going into recession and David Cameron saying that the warning lights were on the global economy's dashboard.

This did make me wonder, which lights are on exactly?  Oil temperature?  Lack of water?  Not enough air in the tyres?  Can we carry on driving or should we stop straight away and phone the AA?  And is there a warning light for the chocolate shortage, because if there isn't there should be.  Mr Cameron, make it so.

In a previous column when people had been panic-buying vacuum cleaners I joked about stockpiling chocolate, but now I'm wondering if this is going to become a reality.  Should I clear a space in my pantry to stock the chocs?

Stop for a moment and imagine a world without chocolate.  No more Wispas, Bountys or Creme Eggs available from just after Christmas until Easter.

Advent calendars with just empty windows, no chocolate coins in your Christmas stocking, no more Buttons.  No selection boxes, or giant tins of Quality Street or Roses from Auntie Ethel.

Yes, scary times are ahead people.  Chocolate keeps many of us sane.  Britain without chocolate would be like China without rice, or America without supersized fast-food.  Somebody do something please - I'm off to Cadbury World before it's too late...

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