Right,
that's it, I've had enough. I think we
should leave this European club.
We
don't understand them, they don't understand us, they all vote with each other,
nobody votes for us, yet we invest lots of money into the whole process.
No,
I'm not talking about that referendum
on 23rd June - I'm still very much undecided and wish somebody could outline
just the facts without scaremongering and highlighting what suits their own
agendas and political ambitions - I'm talking Eurovision.
We
turn up year after year, usually with a great song, and still don't win. Joe and Jake's 'You're Not Alone' was
actually quite a pleasing little ditty and deserved to do better.
And,
with no disrespect to this year's victor from Ukraine, her song wasn't really
what I was hoping for in a Eurovision winner.
With
Eurovision, I want glitz, glamour, glitterballs, fancy frocks, and enough 'cheese'
to make the Jacobs cream cracker factory work overtime.
I
don't expect to see Australia there either - how did that happen, when did
Australia become part of Europe? The
addition of a set by Justin Timberlake was welcome though, but leads me to
wonder can we expect a US competitor next year?
Following
in the fine 'Riverdance' tradition the interval entertainment stole the
show. The comedy song 'Love Love Peace
Peace' was genius and it would probably have won the contest had viewers been
allowed to vote for it.
The
Swedish presenters Mans Zelmerlow and Petra Mede listed all the elements that
you need to win Eurovision - which included having a powerful start; having
drums played by topless men; highlighting your ethnic background with a
folklore instrument played by a bearded man; adding a violin; having a DJ
pretending to scratch; wearing memorable costumes; and singing a song about
love or peace, or both, which they then did.
Abba
were victorious with a song about war, Waterloo, but generally this isn't
recommended. But as this year's winner
won with a song about Stalin I guess anything is now possible.
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