Thursday, 14 April 2016

Britain's Got Talent - the sword swallower

I remember watching TV programmes as a child and the presenter would sagely say 'Don't try this at home kids!'

There usually followed some tightrope walking or similar, and as I had a fear of heights I would think to myself, 'no, I won't be doing that, thank you, but I'm glad you said that just in case I got the urge to strut along the washing line without a safety net'.

So when the phrase 'please don't try this at home' was emblazoned across my screen on Britain's Got Talent I thought, um, this could be interesting.

But I have to say there is no way on this Earth that I would try to emulate what the young Moldovan man did on that show.

For those who haven't seen it, or heard about it subsequently, let me explain as best I can.

He was a sword swallower.  But more than that, he swallowed various length swords and then proceeded to do somersaults - or in one extreme example which had myself and daughter peering through our hands as we couldn't actually watch it unguarded - he descended face-down a scaffolding pole with the sword in his mouth and stopped just before the bottom and certain death by impaling.

Now, I'm no expert on what the Queen and Prince Philip like and dislike - for all I know they're perhaps fans of sword swallowing acrobats.  But although this young man was very good at what he does, I'm not entirely sure it's the right act for the Royal Variety Performance. 

Apparently he used to practice at night, at home, in secret and didn't tell his parents what he was doing.  I can't say I'm surprised - I'm pretty sure most parents wouldn't be delighted to find their best carving knife had been down their son's throat several times.

And if that was his 'warm-up' routine, I dread to think what might follow.  He may well end up as some sort of washboard-stomached human kebab, live on British television, and nobody wants to see that do they?

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