I promptly put down my glass of Germany's finest 'champagne', won by me in a drinks hamper - I've drunk worse, I've been a student - and had a read.
Phew, sigh of relief, apparently I am cultured! At least if you can believe the survey commissioned by Yakult - which I then mused, is this a joke, a play on the word 'culture' as it's a yoghurt drink?
Undeterred, I reassured myself of my level of sophistication. So you can also be reassured, let me share with you some of the apparent signs of being cultured, along with my tongue-in-cheek analysis:
Going to the theatre - pantomime surely counts?
Recognising paintings/art - where's an Athena poster shop when you need one?
Visiting local heritage sites - the pub, they're getting rarer after all.
Listening to classical music - I performed in a Gilbert and Sullivan at school.
Knowing how to choose wine - what's on special offer?
Watching the news on television - what else is on at one, six and ten o'clock?
Learning to read music - I played the recorder at Primary School.
Taking an avid interest in politics - yes, I know who the party leaders are, I understand the differences, I dislike them all.
Taking walks in the countryside - I live in the countryside, I walk to the shop and the pub (see above).
Knowing about cheese - yes I know about cheese, I eat it regularly. I like it in a sandwich with pickle.
The survey also said drinking herbal tea and doing Sudoku were signs of being cultured. Does my supping builders' strength tea and watching Eight Out Of Ten Cats Does Countdown equate to the same thing I wonder?